{"id":3193,"date":"2022-05-05T04:45:49","date_gmt":"2022-05-05T08:45:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.narcistontmaskerd.nl\/en\/?p=3193"},"modified":"2024-02-15T23:10:14","modified_gmt":"2024-02-16T04:10:14","slug":"adhd-and-narcissism","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.narcistontmaskerd.nl\/en\/adhd-and-narcissism\/","title":{"rendered":"How ADHD and narcissism attract each other"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Herman has previously discussed how <a href=\"https:\/\/www.narcistontmaskerd.nl\/en\/attract-narcissists\/\">specific personality types can attract narcissists<\/a>. What hasn&#8217;t been explored yet is how individuals with ADHD become vulnerable targets for narcissists. In this guest blog, Meinte de Groot delves into the connection between people with <strong>ADHD and narcissists<\/strong>.<br \/>\n<!--more--><\/p>\n<h2>Who is Meinte de Groot?<\/h2>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"Meinte de Groot alignright wp-image-3230 size-thumbnail\" title=\"Meinte de Groot\" src=\"https:\/\/www.narcistontmaskerd.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/meinte-de-groot-150x150.jpg\" alt=\"Meinte de Groot\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.narcistontmaskerd.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/meinte-de-groot-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.narcistontmaskerd.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/meinte-de-groot.jpg 281w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>I am 54 and was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 34. After years of self-discovery and learning to cope, I decided seven years ago to establish a coaching practice for people with ADHD. Unfortunately, I had to bring it to an end a few years ago.<\/p>\n<p>During my coaching tenure, I discovered that people with ADHD often attract narcissists due to their struggle with low self-esteem. This vulnerability becomes a tool that narcissists exploit to entangle individuals in their webs.<\/p>\n<p>Four clients were certain that they were or had been involved in a narcissistic relationship. At the time, I lacked sufficient knowledge to assist them adequately. Consequently, I embarked on an extensive search for information about narcissism, and even after closing the practice, my interest in the subject remained high.<\/p>\n<h2 dir=\"auto\">What is ADHD?<\/h2>\n<p>ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, a term encompassing a cluster of symptoms outlined in the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders).<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"The Fidget Spinner was once intended for children with ADHD and autism aligncenter wp-image-3219 size-full\" title=\"The Fidget Spinner was once intended for children with ADHD and autism\" src=\"https:\/\/www.narcistontmaskerd.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/fidget-spinner-adhd.jpg\" alt=\"Fidget Spinner ADHD\" width=\"728\" height=\"485\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.narcistontmaskerd.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/fidget-spinner-adhd.jpg 728w, https:\/\/www.narcistontmaskerd.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/fidget-spinner-adhd-300x200.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 728px) 100vw, 728px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Most characteristic are impulsive behavior, concentration problems, restlessness, and learning difficulties. These symptoms are present from childhood and often hinder daily social functioning.<\/p>\n<h2>ADHD and Narcissism<\/h2>\n<p>Adults with ADHD often unconsciously make poor choices, primarily driven by a desire to please, perform well, avoid failure, and fit in with others.<\/p>\n<p>Individuals with ADHD are particularly sensitive to those who make them feel truly fantastic. Consequently, they may strive even harder to excel, as achieving &#8216;good&#8217; is never satisfying enough for someone with ADHD.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"People with ADHD want to please the narcissist aligncenter wp-image-2698 size-full\" title=\"People with ADHD want to please the narcissist\" src=\"https:\/\/www.narcistontmaskerd.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/empathisch.jpg\" alt=\"People with ADHD want to please the narcissist\" width=\"728\" height=\"847\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.narcistontmaskerd.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/empathisch.jpg 728w, https:\/\/www.narcistontmaskerd.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/empathisch-258x300.jpg 258w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 728px) 100vw, 728px\" \/><\/p>\n<h3>Abusive Relationships<\/h3>\n<p>Too often, you observe individuals with ADHD caught in relationships where they face sexual abuse at times, but almost always endure mental abuse. They are constantly placed beneath the other party in the relationship, whether it&#8217;s in friendships or romantic affairs, and often fail to recognize the abuse.<\/p>\n<p>They tolerate being belittled, insulted, and, in extreme cases, even isolated from their social circle by the other party. Family ties are severed, and friendships come to an end until they are left with only the person perpetuating the abuse.<\/p>\n<p>Some eventually open their eyes and end the relationship, putting an end to the abuse. However, they might then blindly fall into the next &#8220;wrong&#8221; relationship, leaving family and friends bewildered.<\/p>\n<p>For the record, not every person with ADHD experiences this type of relationship. Still, the likelihood of an individual with ADHD ending up in such a relationship is higher than that of an average person without ADHD.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"Are you a magnet for narcissists? aligncenter wp-image-2697 size-full\" title=\"Are you a magnet for narcissists?\" src=\"https:\/\/www.narcistontmaskerd.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/narcisten-aantrekken.jpg\" alt=\"Attract Narcissists\" width=\"728\" height=\"623\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.narcistontmaskerd.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/narcisten-aantrekken.jpg 728w, https:\/\/www.narcistontmaskerd.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/narcisten-aantrekken-300x257.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 728px) 100vw, 728px\" \/><\/p>\n<h3>ADHDers: Easy Prey for Narcissists<\/h3>\n<p>Considering everything mentioned above and the examples provided, it&#8217;s not surprising that many &#8220;love relationships&#8221; involve a narcissist and an individual with ADHD. For a narcissist, manipulating them is remarkably easy, given that they go above and beyond to please, fit in, and be liked.<\/p>\n<p>Particularly when Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder individuals face additional challenges, they become vulnerable targets for narcissists.<\/p>\n<p>And who is better at manipulating someone willing to do anything to fit in than a narcissist? Once an ADHD person is entangled in the web of narcissistic abuse, escape seems impossible. Everyone is wrong, everyone is acting foolish, and everyone can be dismissed. It&#8217;s everyone&#8217;s fault, except the narcissistic partner&#8217;s. No, for the ADHD person, only one thing is important in that moment &#8211; the relationship!<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"In the web of narcissistic abuse aligncenter wp-image-3224 size-full\" title=\"In the web of narcissistic abuse\" src=\"https:\/\/www.narcistontmaskerd.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/in-het-web-van-narcistisch-misbruik.jpg\" alt=\"In the web of narcissistic abuse\" width=\"728\" height=\"486\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.narcistontmaskerd.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/in-het-web-van-narcistisch-misbruik.jpg 728w, https:\/\/www.narcistontmaskerd.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/in-het-web-van-narcistisch-misbruik-300x200.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 728px) 100vw, 728px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Family and friends are pushed aside, and the narcissist has free rein. The individual with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is caught in a black widow&#8217;s web.<\/p>\n<p>After a while, they are so entangled in the web that there&#8217;s no turning back. There will be numerous attempts to break free, but the narcissist will always retaliate, pulling the individual with ADHD back into the web. The abuse then continues unchecked.<\/p>\n<h3>How to Protect Your Child with ADHD from Narcissists<\/h3>\n<p>Now, I can already hear parents of children with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder wondering if they should tie their child to a pole. Of course not.<\/p>\n<p>As I mentioned, it doesn&#8217;t happen to everyone with ADHD. However, as a parent, you must realize that your child with ADHD is easily manipulated, may initiate relationships impulsively, and struggles to assess cause and effect. So now, as a parent, you know that you have an extra responsibility.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"Protect yourself from narcissists aligncenter wp-image-3222 size-full\" title=\"Protect yourself from narcissists\" src=\"https:\/\/www.narcistontmaskerd.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/becherm-jezelf-tegen-narcisten.jpg\" alt=\"Protect yourself from narcissists\" width=\"728\" height=\"485\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.narcistontmaskerd.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/becherm-jezelf-tegen-narcisten.jpg 728w, https:\/\/www.narcistontmaskerd.nl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/becherm-jezelf-tegen-narcisten-300x200.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 728px) 100vw, 728px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Because once they find themselves trapped in a relationship with a narcissist, it is often too late to intervene.<\/p>\n<p>Remember, prevention is better than cure.<\/p>\n<p>Meinte de Groot<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Herman has previously discussed how specific personality types can attract narcissists. What hasn&#8217;t been explored yet is how individuals with ADHD become vulnerable targets for narcissists. In this guest blog, Meinte de Groot delves into the connection between people with ADHD and narcissists.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2048,"featured_media":3215,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[13],"class_list":["post-3193","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-narcissistic-partner","tag-knowledge-about-narcissism"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>How ADHD and narcissism attract each other - Unmasking Narcissism<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Did you know that individuals with ADHD have an increased risk of being in a relationship with a narcissist? 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